Overcome Fear In Four Easy Steps
December 31, 2025 Uncategorized Leave a comment
New Year Inspiration - Chapter 1
I cannot remember the exact moment in time when I finally got sick and tired of “being sick and tired”. Afraid of moving forward in my life and said “enough!” I want a better life, I want to be successful in business and I will find a way. I am going to humble myself and ask for help and I am going to get to work – on me. Because I believe I am worth it.
The #1 reason people hesitate on moving forward to pursue what is truly most important in life is nearly always based on fear of some sort. Ranging from absolute paralyzing terror of making mistakes, to negative self-talk, fear can control you!
At the age of eight months I was given away and placed in foster care. I remained in a world of neglect and loss for almost 17 years. Growing up I felt disposable, humiliated, worthless and uncertain that no one would even notice if I didn’t exist. I was labeled an “at risk” youth because I seldom spoke in class.
Once I was on my own I was really on my own. Without a solid foundation of security and support I began my journey in life by dressing the outside for success, while the inside was quivering Jell-O. You can imagine the outcomes. I made a lot of mistakes. I also learned many valuable lessons.
Even the most courageous people have fears to overcome. Maybe you fear failure, change, stepping out of a comfort zone or something else that’s more difficult to pin down. How about negative self-talk?
FEAR is false evidence appearing real.
Fear is usually based on something from the past. If left unaddressed fear can hinder our progress, become self-fulfilling prophesy and keep us from being our personal best in life.
I have four easy steps that will help you to look and move past your fears. While the steps are easy, the commitment you make to yourself to do the work will determine your success.
The first step to overcoming a fear is to acknowledge it.
1. ANALYZING – Writing down your fear helps you see clearly what you are dealing with. Saying your fear out loud, “I am fearful about . . .” helps to loosen the ties it has on you and starts to lesson the power it has over you.
2. TAKE CONTROL - Choose to make the mental shift before taking the physical step. What I mean by this is stopping the negative words or situations that replay in your mind and replace them with positive statements and positive outcomes.
For years I let the fear of public embarrassment and shame keep me from my God-given talent and ability – speaking. I listened to the voices from the past that said “you are not capable” and the ultimate betrayal I believed was the statement I heard the most growing up “you never will.” Today the words I say to myself are completely different from the statements I choose to let define me that were not real. I now say, “I am a successful professional speaker and author.” And guess what? I am!
If you are not there with the words you say and believe about yourself, your life will follow.
Stop running from what you fear the most. Uncover your eyes and look at your fear for exactly what it is. Fear is not real. It’s a bunch of smoke and mirrors designed to keep you from having your best possible life.
3. THINK DIFFERENTLY – Where do you go and who to you find that will help you get the information you want to replace that fear? I’m talking about mentors. These folks are not better than you; they have just had more practice. These are the people that you look up to and admire.
The false perception and pride I had of myself kept me unable to turn to mentors because I thought I had to know everything – to be perfect. Give yourself permission that you don’t know everything. Thinking we know everything there is to know, for me, was a sign of addition – the addiction to perfection. I thought if I acted like I knew everything that would make people notice me and like me.
Perfection is an unattainable illusion. It does not exist. What I have learned is that you can be brilliant at one thing and don’t know much, or anything, about something else and that is ok. The information I take in by admitting, “I don’t know,” replaces fear.
4. CELEBRATE – Each step forward gets you closer to moving past your fear and each time you take a step outside your comfort zone is a reason to celebrate. You get excited as you move forward and empowerment of self grows.
Don’t worry about making mistakes. A mistake made is showing you there is a better way. Find it. Look for the possible.
Many of my fears were based on situations and people from the past and if I allow fear to be present in my life - that means I’m not. I’m somewhere in the past, trying to relieve or rewrite a situation in an attempt to get a different outcome. It’s not possible. Let it go.
Fear is the enemy of success.
Analyze, Take Control, Think Differently and Celebrate. Follow these four steps to overcome your fear and combine them with daily positive self-talk to achieve your personal best. You are all so worth it.
Look for Chapter 2 of New Year Inspiration – Overcome Fear In Four Easy Steps to be published on New Years Day, 2015!
Bonnie Milletto is author of the book, “Dedicated To The Cup, Nine Ways To Reinvent A Life!” An inspirational light, Bonnie is a featured motivational columnist for Willamette Living Magazine. Bonnie is a popular keynote speaker and expert on the topic of empowerment, overcoming fear and providing exemplary customer service. Her website is www.bonniemilletto.com She is available to speak to your group. Email Bonnie at [email protected] for more information.
